I’ve been thinking a lot lately about 2 comments that have been said to me, one of which was a couple years ago long before my son came along. I was told ” You don’t know what it’s like to have a real life because you don’t have kids.” The other comment was said by a different person a bit more recent after having my son. ” You can’t be friends with people that don’t have kids, now that you have one. It just doesn’t work.”
Completely different ends of the spectrum these 2 comments are on but with one very big thing in common… Both comments are complete BULLSHIT in my opinion!!! When the first comment was said to me I was so offended and shocked that someone would truly think that never mind say it to my face. At that point in my life I had just got married, we were in the process of building our house, I ran my own business, took great care of my dog & cat(who are like my children) and loved being with my friends and family. (Might I add some of those friends had kids!)
I have respect for both people who chose to have kids and those who chose to not have kids. Everyone’s life paths are different and everyone is entitled to chose their own paths without being judged or looked down upon for it.
Which brings me to the 2nd comment said to me… I have quite a few friends that don’t have any kids and we still enjoy hanging out. Yes things have changed, I may not be available to hang out as often or I may be limited to what times I can do things. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends. Everyone’s lives go through changes, and as friends that means supporting those changes (with or without kids). No?
Judgments like these are reasons why people feel guilty for things like wanting to do things for themselves or in some cases not wanting to do something (like having kids).This is what makes people worry about what others are going to think/say, because people love to judge others lives.
It takes a lot of work on one self to realize & be ok with not everyone is going to like or even approve of your choices. This is something I know I really struggle with letting go of & something I am trying to work on to not let bother me. Again there’s that balance I’m trying to figure out!!
“I don’t know the key to success but I do know the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
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