So the topic today was not something I had planned on talking about (at all). But I had a few readers ask me what my thoughts/experience with “baby blues” are.
When I was asked this my first thought was “oh there’s no way I’m blogging about that…” Why is it that in our society baby blues, postpartum depression or any type of mental illness is not a common thing to openly talk about? When really talking about it is one of the best therapies you can do for it. Having it swept under the rug in our society is probably the reason my first reaction was to ignore the subject and pick something else to blog about today. I’m not saying that society hasn’t come along way because mental illness is starting to be taken more seriously now than it ever has been, but it’s still not excepted the way it should be in 2014…
Baby blues, two words I feel guilty saying together when I know how blessed we are to have a healthy, beautiful baby boy… Knowing how many people struggle to get pregnant, or adopt babies/kids. When you have this little miracle you think the last thing you should be feeling is sad, angry, overwhelmed etc and for every person the feeling is different, and it happens at different times.
In my opinion, the most important thing is to have a great support system. Someone that recognizes your symptoms & struggles. In my case my husband is my #1, I am extremely lucky to have the most supportive, caring & loving husband that I do he is my rock, also my family & a few close friends (who I consider my family). People or even 1 person who you are comfortable with completely opening up to.
Being able to admit you aren’t feeling like yourself is a big step, asking for help even if its for the simplest things is so important. It’s ok that you aren’t able to do everything, it’s ok that you don’t have the answers to everything, its ok that you want time to yourself and it is really ok to cry. Your hormones are going crazy trying to get back to normal, being emotional is going to happen (for a long time in some cases). It’s when you don’t allow those emotions to come out when you start making yourself feel worse. You are not alone in this, so many women struggle with this. The guilt of what you are feeling is probably what prevents you from talking to anyone about it. You are not a bad Mother for feeling the way you do, you are not a bad wife/girlfriend for feeling this way either. You are not a bad person to be feeling the way you feel!!! You are HUMAN, you aren’t bullet proof, you don’t know all the answers, you can’t do everything, you do need time to your self, you aren’t perfect… And that is OK, no one is!
The guilt you feel when you catch yourself wondering why you wanted to be a Mom on those frustrating or down days, or when you realize you have absolutely no idea what you are doing or even when all you want to do is spend sometime away from your child. This is felt by all Mom’s at one point or another. This is where finding your balance with life as Mommy & life as yourself is the most important, for your happiness & your sanity!! When all these things start to pile up, you need to call one of those people you trust and ask for a break for a couple hours, a whole day or even over night. Whatever you feel comfortable with. Just remember you are doing a great job & you will get through this, you are not alone so don’t try to do it alone!!!