10 Months Already!

Becoming a Mom is a strange thing. I still don’t feel that I “am” a Mother. I feel I am in a constant state of becoming a Mother. Every day I learn new things & new ways to grow.
It is so strange how much love you can feel for someone you have never met. No idea if they are a boy or a girl, what they will look like, if they will be healthy, what their personality will be like. It is also accompanied with the anxiety and the fear of the unknown.
Becoming a Mom is a constant struggle. It is hard work.There are nights full of moments of self-doubt & frustrations galore.
But there are also moments where I feel like my heart will burst with love and happiness. Moments where I look at him and think that there could not be a more perfect being in existence.
Becoming a Mom is bittersweet. Watching him learn and grow and accomplish amazing things. Watching him discover the world around him. Cheering for him as he learns how to sit, how to crawl, how to clap, how to wave. And at the same time feeling the sadness that he is growing so fast, and that these moments are passing us by and will never be experienced with him again. Packing away his little sleepers are moments that bring tears to my eyes. Tears of happiness and pride for the child he is becoming, and also tears of sadness saying  goodbye to the baby he once was.
Becoming a Mother is my greatest accomplishment. I cant believe how fast these last 10 months have gone by already! Looking into Ryden’s eyes, I see what pure love looks like, feel what pure devotion feels like, and know the reason for my existence! Happy 10 months turkey!! XO

~Renee~

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